I received a call from a principal one afternoon, and they asked, “When is our housekeeper’s birthday?” It brought a smile to my face. Remembering someone’s birthday may seem small, but its impact can be profound.

Some people will tell you, “Hey, it’s my birthday.” Look at social media, where the messages stack up and you can see what it does to the person reading them. Nobody’s looking for anything. They just want to be seen.

The principal didn’t want the day to slip by. So, they planned something simple. That tells you everything.

I recall a nanny we placed with a family in Old Greenwich. During her first year, with three kids bustling around, she walked into the house one Saturday morning to find the mom and her three kids waiting for her. Each one proudly held a handwritten birthday card for her. Even the five-year-old.

Small gestures like this are the building blocks of a respectful working relationship, and that respect goes both ways.  When someone feels at home where they work, they show up differently, feel appreciated, and stay.

Most people can do the work. What makes it last is how it feels to be there. Sometimes it’s big, but most of the time it’s small. Like making sure you remember someone’s birthday.